What I've Learned on Twitter

In my brief few weeks on Twitter, I have learned a lot of things:

• If you don't have a website denouncing God, you are not a good atheist.
• If you don't go to church four times a week, you are not a good Christian.
• If your daughter likes Barbies and pretty pink dresses, you are not teaching her strong feminist values.
• If she is in the treehouse hurling spitballs at the neighbors' kids, she lacks composure and discipline.
• If your son plays with cars and trains and footballs, you are not teaching him to be sensitive.
• If he takes a pretty little doll into a public place and demonstrates interest in it, you are setting him up.
• If you don't publicly bash OWS, you are not a good conservative.
• If you are not camped on Wall Street, you are not a good liberal.
• If you didn't have your children before the age of 22, you are contributing to generation gap clashes.
• If you didn't wait until 40 to have your first child, you lack the wisdom and resources necessary to do so.
• If you made your first million before 30, you were lucky.
• If you haven't made your first million by 33, you weren't focused enough.
• If you choose to stay at home with your children, you are hindering their growth and being overprotective.
• If you go to work and send your young children to daycare, you are an absentee mom.
• If your Christmas meal is a double-quarter-pounder with cheese, you are lazy.
• If you prepare a large feast for your family served on your holiday tableware, you are a show-off.
• If you have money, you buy art.
• If you dedicate your life to creating art, you are a pathetic looser that can't handle a real job.

But the most important thing I've learned is: If you are going to shoot yourself in the face, wear these. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGXoTAJB_IU

/unfollow everyone except The Bloggess